Clarity
by im-micheala
Summary: In the end, it was her death that clarified things for Eren.


In the end, it was her death that clarified things for Eren.

"_Mikasa! Why are you just lying there? Now's not the time for a break!"_

It was small, and unnoticed.

"_Mikasa?"_

Her body left abandoned in the forest, surrounded by the tall forbidding trees. She lay on her stomach, one arm stretched out before her, reaching for the red fabric of their childhood. Eren had faltered when he landed, confused to why she wasn't answering his call.

He first noticed the large, bloody gash across her back. Then that she wasn't breathing. He stumbled to her body, crashing to his knees besides her, hands hovering over her body.

"_Oh g- Mik- no."_

He sobbed, clutching her cold body closer to his. She would no longer bug him about washing his hair, or sit beside him as he ranted to Armin at the mess hall.

No longer laugh quietly at his shitty jokes.

No longer peck his lips when nobody was looking.

No longer help him train in the dead of the night.

No longer yell at him when he did something stupid.

No longer sneak into his bed when she had nightmares.

No longer smile.

No longer go in for the kill.

A search team had found him later, silent tears still streaming down his face as stared at the red fabric in his hands. He didn't remember being moved away from her, nor did he remember the next few days.

He remembered when he was told that her death wasn't accidental. Someone had come forward, admitting to slicing her back and pushing her off the safety of the tree.

"_I don't know what came over me. I- I saw titans, I knew only one of us could survive. While she looked over the edge, I cut her and pushed her off. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see her get eaten by the titans, but all I heard was the crunching noise her body made when it hit the ground. The titans were gone. I'm not sure if she was alive or not when I left. I didn't check."_

Fury overrode Eren, but Armin was the first to react, tackling the grown man. Nobody stopped the blonde as he beat the murder, shouting insults and sobbing as he did so. It shocked Eren into silence, making him watch as the teen pounded his fists into the man's face and chest.

Armin slowed his beating, letting out several short gasps before sobbing again. Eren pulled him off of the bloody body, face blank as he let the blonde cry into his chest.

Eren didn't lose control after that.

He was strong.

Fast.

Smart.

The clarity Mikasa's death brought was a harsh contrast to the foggy mind he had before. He knew he was dying, he could feel the life slowly ebbing away. It was almost like sleeping. He let himself imagine lying down by the tree in his childhood. Mikasa would be collecting wood, carrying more than her share as always, and he would be lazing about.

Tears started to fall again. He hadn't cried for a while. Not since Mikasa's death.

"_See you later, Eren."_

Her last words to him.

"_Eren."_

"_Eren."_

"Eren!" Mikasa's voice was loud in his sleep.

"Hm?"

"Wake up. We need to get back home now, it's getting dark."

Eren forced his eyes open, studying the girl in front of him. Dejavu hit him hard as he stared into Mikasa's dark gray eyes.

"Your hair has gotten longer, hasn't it?" He asked, forcing himself up. Mikasa started to walk away, in the direction of their home.

"You were sleeping long enough to spout that kind of nonsense upon waking up?"

"Well ya see," Eren said, picking up his pile of wood, "It's like I just had a mighty long dream... but I can't remember what it was about."

"Eren?" Mikasa turned to look back at him, confusion written on her face. "What's wrong?"

She tilted her head slightly, the wind blowing her hair to the side. "Why are you crying?"

* * *

PLOT TWIST!

Yeah but I needed Mikaere feels and got in the writing mood. I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a review! (I think they're like chicken soup for the fanfiction writers soul? Maybe, haha)

_I feel like I should explain what Armin did, too. He didn't really get a time to mourn Mikasa. He had to deal with Eren and help plan other missions. So when he heard what random guy #1 did to Mikasa, he let out all of his pent up emotion on the guy. Eren sorta became an emotionally numb, titan killing machine until he lost. And yeahh. Stuff. _


End file.
